Category: Grief / Healing
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Finding Fear
Earlier this week, I was hunting for some books for work, trying to remember where I last put them. Looking at the bookshelves and in different closets, the lightbulb goes off.They were in the downstairs closet. I crouch down to look at the bottom shelf. I see a stack of papers, binders, folders, and books.…
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Lost
Remember back in High School or College, when you were trying to find your identity, purpose, and where you fit in? Maybe you rushed to a fraternity or sorority and found your family in your house. Those who were athletic maybe found their team by playing sports. For those who were academics, maybe their people…
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Encouragement
It may be no surprise that I have been struggling deeply as of late. And if this comes as a surprise, I must hide my feelings well. I’ve been working on a devotional journal where you write different verses of the Bible every day, say what you are grateful for, and then write what is…
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Hold the Appaws
Zeus is our sweet 7-year-old Siamese Lynx Point, and Zelda is our 4-year-old Miniature Schnauzer. Before Archer, these two were our pride and joy; our fur babies. They love each other and play with one another, Zeus will meow and greet Zelda immediately when she has been gone for more than a few hours, and…
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!
As I have mentioned in previous blogs, Archer had almost daily blood draws to see what his different ‘numbers’ looked like. He would have tests like CMP, CBC, ALT, AST, Ammonia, INR, PT, Albumin, and Bilirubin. On top of that, he had a neurology test, liver biopsy, heart scan, esophageal scope, and a PIC line…
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Just Call Him Dad
Do you know what is hard to deal with?Wanting to be a mom again.Want to know what is harder to deal with?Seeing your spouse not be a parent when they are designed to be one. Anyone who knows Theo is probably well aware of how good of a dad he was to Archer. Theo didn’t…
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Four
Yesterday marked four months without Archer… I woke up not feeling great emotionally, recognizing what the date was. I did my best to avoid those emotions all day. I stayed busy with church, lunch with friends, and a puzzle. If I could describe my most authentic feelings lately, the song Numb Little Bug says it well: Do…
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One Of My Biggest Fears
In early 2022, I got pretty sick on a Friday. I was at work when I got nauseous and finally had to tell my boss that I needed to head home. As I walked out of the office, I ‘tossed my cookies’ right in front of the window where our IT Manager was watching. It…
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Dreams Don’t Always Come True
This weekend, Theo and I went to C2E2, or Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo. Theo and I went together back in 2020 before the world shut down. We talked about how we couldn’t wait to have a family and bring our kids one day. We always wanted to immerse them in what I’d call nerd…
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Ooo, Shiny
I have many memories of Archer, but one of my favorite memories is when Archer was a little older. As kids get older, you start to work on strengthening their leg muscles. One way we did this was having Archer stand on our laps while supporting him from his sides. We loved watching him learn…