Theo and I have been talking a lot, and we decided to let you all in on the phases of our IVF journey that we have been through so far and what this journey has been like for us. 

Note: Every person’s IVF journey and results can be vastly different. This can be for many reasons, but one big one is that every human body is different.

Theo and I got a call about mid-January (2023) stating that we would have our first appointment to start a retrieval round. (Remember, we started our IVF journey back in May 2022). 

There were a lot of emotions that went into this. We were excited to start finally but also nervous because we didn’t know what the retrieval journey would look like. 

On January 18th, we had our very first appointment. This day was also my 30th birthday. Theo and I always thought we would be done having children by the time we finished our 30th year of life. That is NOT the case. This appointment was the BEST birthday gift I could have received. 

We got to the office for our first appointment. The nerves kicked in. At the first retrieval appointment, they need to ensure that your body is ready to go and that your hormone levels are good. They do this to ensure you are not in the middle of a cycle where you could drop some of the follicles, or eggs, you are trying to produce. 

We got to ask many good questions during our first appointment about what to expect, how long the process generally takes, and learn more about the female reproduction process. I’ve enjoyed learning about it because it is amazing how God designed our bodies. 

Anyway, after my doctor looked at my body and where it was in the process and got my lab results, she gave us the go-ahead to start the two different IVF medications. These medications were injectible into the stomach. 

I was petrified the first night of shots. I didn’t know what to expect or how it would feel. I think Theo was even more nervous about stabbing me in the stomach. Every night, I made my mom sit with me and talk about her day to distract me from what Theo was doing. (This was while my parents still lived with us).

Honestly, the shots didn’t feel as awful as I expected. However, I didn’t expect one of the medications to feel like liquid fire was injected into my stomach. I also didn’t expect to be as nauseous as I was. Immediately after taking this medication, I would get very sick. I think I cried for about two days because of how the medicines made me feel.

Thankfully, we did have doctor’s appointments about every other day. In these appointments, they would check hormone levels with a blood draw and do additional ultrasounds of my anatomy to see how things were moving. During my appointments, I was able to talk about the nausea, and thankfully, they were able to prescribe me some additional oral medication that I could take before the shots. It was such a game-changer!

We repeated the shots and appointments for a very long time. According to my doctors, the average retrieval cycle takes about ten days. (Again, it all depends on how one’s body responds to the medications). It took my body 14 days to be ready for retrieval. 

What this means is that we didn’t have a lot of follicles growing at the rate that they needed to be. A follicle needs to be about 18mm or bigger to retrieve, and they usually like to have around five that are that size or larger. My body struggled to have a large amount of follicles grow fast enough to the size that they needed to be. Therefore, I was on the medications longer to be able to retrieve eggs from the follicles. 

I lost many follicles along the way. To help give some numbers, on January 18th, I started with 20 follicles, which is a pretty good number. By my last appointment before the retrieval procedure, I was down to 11 follicles, and only five at that time were considered a “good size” to be extracted. This is a low number compared to what the doctor would like to see in a retrieval cycle. 

We had yet to determine what we would get when we went through the retrieval procedure itself, but we did get this scheduled for February 2nd.

Theo and I showed up for my outpatient procedure. When you go through retrieval, the woman is under anesthesia. This is because the procedure requires such precision and can be uncomfortable, so they prefer to have the woman sleep through this. 

The man will ensure his “friends” make it to the party during the procedure. Once the procedure is over, the embryologist will review the eggs retrieved from the follicles to determine which can have “friends.” Then, the embryologist will give one “friend” to each egg, which will hopefully become an embryo. 

Our doctor was able to retrieve eight eggs. This is a lower number, but it was better than we thought. The embryologist determined seven eggs were mature and could get “friends.” Thankfully, all seven fertilized normally. 

From there, it is a waiting game. You have to wait three days after your procedure to determine each embryo’s grade. Like school, an A is the best grade, and a D is the lowest. These grades are associated with which embryo will most likely become a blastocyst, which is needed for genetic testing. 

Theo and my embryos were graded:

1 – A
1 – B
4 – C
1 – D

This wasn’t the greatest news because it meant, based on the statistics, we would most likely lose most of the C’s and the D. Meaning that they would not make it to Day 6. This was an unsettling call with the doctor, and I didn’t feel great about this. However, we had to wait to see how many embryos and which made it to Day 6, or a blastocyst, if any. 

By day 6, we got the call. We had ONE embryo make it to day 6. It was our graded A embryo. 

My heart sank. I remember sobbing. I believed there would be provision, and we would only have to go through one retrieval. Boy, was I wrong… 

Side note: We had to send any and all of our embryos together to get genetically tested. We couldn’t send them in multiple batches, so Theo and I had to decide if we would be going through additional retrievals or if we would be getting this embryo tested. More retrievals and more genetic testing rounds all meant more money. More retrievals also meant more sickness, which was one of my most challenging things. 

Theo and I talked it through together and spoke to our families. We decided that this wasn’t the end of our retrieval journey… Having one embryo and the possibility of Alper’s being 25% didn’t feel like good odds for us. Therefore, our little lonely A embryo was frozen and will wait for future siblings (embryos) to join it before being tested. 

We couldn’t just start another round immediately. You must wait some time for your body’s cycle to normalize and ensure no significant side effects. You also have to wait to get back on the IVF calendar, which is much harder when you are going for genetic testing. (This is because of the time-consuming process that an embryologist has to grade and dissect DNA from the embryo for genetic testing). 

And when I say we had to wait to get on the calendar, we had to wait… But as we have learned, IVF is a waiting game.