About a month ago, Theo and I received a letter from the Children’s Hospital Bereavement Team. We had been invited to a family grief camp event. It was a day-and-a-half event where families could bring their children and all process the grief they are experiencing by losing a child or sibling. The camp only had room for ten or so families, so we jumped on the opportunity.

Quickly after we submitted our paperwork to go, we got accepted as one of the families. I then started to feel awkward about going. Not because this was a grief camp, but because it was for families.
Since losing Archer, I have had a hard time feeling like I fit in the ” family ” category; however, since camp, I know that Theo and I make up a family, including Archer.

We had to pick out a picture for the Memorial Table the night before camp. A Memorial Table is where families can place photos of their child who passed, so everyone can look at them and honor their memory and life. Picking out this picture became such an emotional task. I wanted to pick the best image encompassing all that Archer was and is. It had to be a picture with him smiling or laughing.

When I finally picked out Archer’s photo, I entered our bedroom, where Theo was, and broke down. One picture didn’t feel like enough to encompass him or his life. I hugged the picture for about 20 minutes while crying. Theo took the picture from my arms, put it in his suitcase, and then replaced himself in my arms. He sat and hugged me until I stopped crying, which was a long time. Theo is my rock.

The following day, we woke up early and headed to camp. I was still nervous the whole ride up, thinking we would be the only couple. I was dreading seeing everyone with kids and us being by ourselves.
All I will say now is that I was pleasantly surprised.