My parents recently sold their home and are living with Theo and me during this transition period. We are beyond grateful to have them with us for a while. It gives me peace knowing that there will be people in my house to whom I can always go when I need someone to talk to.

Before they moved in, I just looked at my “Archer Wall” in my office. If you don’t know, this is a wall with many pictures of him throughout the months. I said, “I know you would have been excited to have them living with us, Squish.”

I can picture my mom wanting to pick him up from daycare, feeding him food, or playing with him in the evenings. My dad would have been singing ‘Animal Fair’ for hours. (Archer loved his song time with Papa). I imagine all of us going on family walks around the neighborhood. Archer loved to be in his stroller and see the world. I think that is part of the reason he loved the zoo so much.

It would have been a blessing for all of us to live together and watch Archer grow. By now, Archer probably would have been crawling, if not walking, and talking everyone’s ear off. He loved to hear himself talk, just like his mama.

I know this is a fantasy in my mind, but it’s one that I feel would have been a reality had Archer been here.

For now, I’m grateful to have my parents here with Theo and me. For one, going through IVF is an emotional rollercoaster, and a lot of information is provided regarding the process and genetics. Second, we are approaching the holidays. While the holidays are usually an exciting time of year and people look forward to them, this is something I’m dreading. Hopefully, starting new traditions somewhere new will help ease the pain.

This transition period will probably be precisely what I need to help me heal.