This series on my blog is probably one of the least read, but it means the most to me. (I’m not hurt or upset by this; it’s just a statistical fact).

Why I think this series is the least read:

• It’s similar in content, so nothing is super new and exciting. (Maybe I am wrong)

Why does it mean so much to me?

1. It’s a way to ensure I am ALWAYS taking time to remember and honor Archer.
2. Grief will NEVER go away.
   1. It’s important for me, and hopefully, others, to realize that grief doesn’t just go away, minus embrace it.
   2. I will always miss Archer.
   3. It’s also kind of interesting, when looking back on blogs, to see how my emotions change from month to month with the grief.
3. I want Stryder and my future kids to know how important Archer is to me.

I started AfterArcher as a way to share my story, process my grief, and help others understand and learn about child loss and grief. Therefore, I will continue to write these, and I hope no one minds. 🙂

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Archer –

I had a moment last week when I shed tears over how much I missed you. This happens a little less often when I get overwhelmed by emotions, but it doesn’t mean we don’t stop to talk or think about you frequently.

I cried, remembering our first time alone for a few hours. You were not a happy little guy. I remember sobbing because I felt I couldn’t do it and I was not a good mama. I called my mom as I was sobbing after about an hour, and she came over and calmed us both down. (I know, she’s an excellent Nana!)

I don’t think I cried because I was sad about the memory. I cried because I have come so far in being a mama and my confidence in it, and it’s all thanks to you. I was thinking of how proud I hope you would be. I wouldn’t be the mom I am today for your brother if I did not have you.

You have no idea what impact you made in my life and how you helped shape who I am. You are so missed and loved tremendously!

Mama