We didn’t have much time with Archer, but Christmas was one of his favorite life experiences. He absolutely loved all the lights, the tree, the wrapping paper, and just exploring this holiday season.

In 2022, Theo and I only had a little Christmas spirit. We know the reason for the season (Jesus), which kept us going last year. However, we didn’t put any lights on our house, we didn’t hang stockings, and we definitely said ‘no’ to having a Christmas tree. 

We didn’t want to put up a tree because we lacked spirit but partly because we needed a new one. (Ours was about six years old, and we got it off Facebook marketplace right before we married.) 

We knew how much Archer loved the Christmas tree and said this would be our last year without one. We want Stryder to have the Christmas that Archer did – all the lights, wrapping paper, tree, and more. 

This year, we decided that only our fireplace mantel would be decorated, mainly because it was the backdrop for our family Christmas card photo. Still, we hung all three stockings and some garland and added some decorations. We still didn’t do anything outside and definitely decided we didn’t want a Christmas tree.

About two weeks ago, we were blessed unexpectedly with a beautiful wreath. I immediately asked Theo to hang it up outside; it looks gorgeous!

Then, after feeling better last week, I looked at Theo and told him that I didn’t want to sit at home on a Saturday afternoon. I asked if we could go shopping to get out of the house. (If you know me, this is very rare. I love to be home.) Theo was a bit shocked that I wanted to go out, but he was all for it.

While we were out, we said we would go to Hobby Lobby to look at new ornaments and get a fake tree for next Christmas (2024) to prepare for Styder’s first Christmas. We found some fantastic ornaments that we loved, and then it hit us…. We have NO Christmas tree…

What did we do?! We went to multiple stores to see if we could find a tree. You could hear it in our voices and catch a glimpse of excitement we had in our eyes at the potential of finding a tree. As we drove from store to store, we talked about how we would put up the tree if we got one, even if it was only up for three weeks. 

Every store we went into was either “Sold Out” or lacked our tree height. 

I didn’t waste any time: Amazon was quickly pulled up on my phone. We picked out a tree and hoped it would be nice and not look ‘too fake’ for the price. 

Today, December 19th, our tree arrived. 

We opened the box to see what our fake tree looked like, and it was exactly what we had hoped for. It didn’t look too fake and was the right size for our house. 

Theo and I got to work and quickly started putting it together. We fluffled the branches and decorated our tree with brand-new ornaments. At first, I didn’t think we would put any of our personalized ornaments on the tree, but when I stood back and looked at it, it felt like something was missing. I quickly found the box of ornaments from last year and Archer’s first Christmas. Those found their home for the season on our tree. Tears shed along the way, remembering who had given him the ornament, when, and what the ornaments meant.

We don’t have any other personal ornaments on the tree this year, and that’s okay. Those didn’t feel right to hang this year. 

We officially have a Christmas tree, which we never pictured happening in 2023! I texted my mom a picture of our tree, and she said the best thing, “Archer would love it!” And my mom is 100% correct. He would have loved it so much!

I don’t want to write about this to say, “Look at us; we did it.” Instead, I want to say to anyone struggling through the holidays to:

1.  Do what feels right.
2. Allow your plans to change.
3. Allow your new plan to fit how you feel.