I don’t know that I will ever stop counting the months of Archer being gone. Many people would try to forget the awful dates, but I find it impossible. It feels impossible not to remember the absence, which grows further. However, we try to keep the memories just as alive and strong.

Last night, I had one of the most extensive breakdowns that I have had in a while. Milestones are coming up with Stryder and things that we must accomplish before his due date that make Archer’s loss feel even more significant.

The feelings these days are so hard to explain to anyone. While everything should feel like rainbows and butterflies with having another baby, it feels like a rainy, damp day, just waiting for thunder or lightning to happen. Emotions and sadness come with dreary days, and you look forward to the sun peaking through, wondering and waiting to see what it will feel like again on your skin.

Archer Floyd –

Mama misses you so much. I talk about you to Stryder often. It’s hard to describe how he has a big brother he will never meet on this side of the earth. How can we adequately describe who you are and how you impacted our lives? Words don’t do you justice.

You loved people, but you loved your family so much. I can only imagine how much you would have loved having a little brother! There are so many things I feel like I am missing out on with you being gone, but I feel broken knowing your brother is missing out on truly knowing you, too.

You have impacted our lives more than you know. We love you so much!
Mama