We finally got on the IVF calendar in mid-June to start the transfer process. Part of this process is going in for a pre-appointment, where they check the uterine lining to ensure it looks appropriate for where you should be in the cycle. I was so excited about this appointment, if everything went well, we would be transferring our embryo in just about 1-2 weeks!

My appointment day arrived. It was a Sunday morning, and Theo was playing on the worship team that day, so I went to the appointment alone. I was so excited to have the appointment go well and tell Theo the exciting news. 

When the doctor came in to do the ultrasound, he looked at me and said that he was sorry and he knew how excited we were, but the lining didn’t look good; we would have to wait until my next cycle and that I would be getting a call to get another appointment scheduled. I held back the tears and just left as quickly as I could.

To say I was crushed was an understatement, and I was alone. I couldn’t even call Theo as he was literally on stage playing for worship, so I called my mom sobbing. 

She was sad, understanding, and encouraging. She talked to me while I sobbed in the parking lot and during my whole drive to church. When I arrived at church, Theo had just gotten off the stage, and I ran to him and just cried and had to pull him aside to explain everything. My friends hugged me, even though they had no clue what I was going through. 

Fast forward to early July, Theo and I went back for this same pre-appointment to see if everything looked good with my lining. The good news: it looked perfect! This meant we could start the transfer medications and get a date on the books. I took Estrogen pills multiple times a day and one Progesterone shot in my lower back (ish) area once a day. 

Note: Not everyone has to take medications for transfer. You can do a medicated transfer, or controlled, which is where the drugs will help regulate what your cycle should look like. Or you can do a more natural process where you track your hormone levels, similar to how those who are naturally trying to have a baby do. 

On July 18, Theo and I got ready in the morning to head to the IVF clinic. Theo and I made the decision that we didn’t want to know which embryo would be transferred. I was too nervous that we would lose our one little girl, so we asked for the best embryo to be transferred. 

My most challenging part was I had to have a full blatter when I came in. This is because a full blatter actually helps best position the uterus for the embryo and transfer procedure. 

I was nervous about the procedure, but Theo kept me company, and my mind was highly occupied by how badly I had to use the bathroom. It was frustrating in the moment how long I had to wait, but looking back, it was a good distraction from the nerves. 

The doctor and embryologist entered the room, and we prepared for the transfer. The doctor got the ultrasound ready, and then a screen turned white in front of me. This screen was hooked up to the microscope to see our little embryo in the catheter on the screen. The doctor then placed the catheter and pushed the embryo into my uterus. 

We saw a little white blast on the ultrasound screen, showing that the embryo had been placed. The doctor removed the catheter, and the embryologist returned it to the white screen to show that the embryo was no longer in the tube. 

After this, I was told I could use the bathroom and go about my day as usual. The procedure was honestly so interesting and easier than I had expected, which I am thankful for. 

Ten days after the transfer, I was told that I would have my first HCG blood draw. They wanted to see my HCG levels above 20. I asked if I could take a home pregnancy test, and the nurse said she didn’t think my hormone levels would be high enough for an at-home test to read the results. This meant that I had to wait. 

That Friday, I went in for my blood draw early in the morning and waited for the results to come in. I refreshed MyChart every 30 minutes to see if anything came in. Finally, we got the results. My HCG was at 192. I quickly picked up the phone to call Theo, and I told him to get on MyChart as soon as possible. He looked at the results, and I just cried. 

However, it wasn’t over. We had to see two HCG tests with a positive increase in HCG level to be able to consider ourselves officially pregnant. On that following Monday, I had to schedule my second blood draw. Similar story: I got my blood drawn early in the morning, waited, and refreshed often. We wanted to see our HCG levels around 590. Our results came in at 896.

We were pregnant! 

The nurse called later in the day to schedule an ultrasound, but we had to wait a few weeks for the baby to get bigger. If everything looked good, we would continue shots until we were 10 weeks pregnant and graduate IVF.

This didn’t stop us from telling some of our family members the good news, and we asked them to continue to pray for us on this journey. 

Today, I am beyond blessed to tell the world that …

ARCHER IS A BIG BROTHER!

I am 14 weeks pregnant with a little boy. His name will be Stryder Floyd Sessler. His due date is April 4, 2024. I will have another c-section, so he will most likely arrive on March 28, 2024 (unless he wants to be early like his big brother).

For those of you who may not know:

• Floyd – This was Archer’s middle name, and he was named after my late Papa. 
• Stryder – Yes, this is from Lord of the Rings (Aragorn Strider), but Aragorn was an Archer. 

We want to name all our children, in different ways, after their older brother. 

Theo and I are humbled to have had the journey we did. We know our journey is unlike others who have also struggled with loss or infertility. We know we are blessed. I don’t share our story to gloat or brag about our success but to show God’s hand in our lives, especially after such a dark loss. 

I want to be clear that Stryder IS a rainbow baby. But it doesn’t mean Archer was THE storm. The loss of Archer was the storm. We wouldn’t change having him for the world. (We would have liked to change his genetics but never changed his life or existence). He was NOT our storm. 

Our journey continues further. We have 25 weeks until Stryder arrives, and we ask for continued prayer. 

Also, I will not stop blogging. Being pregnant after a loss has had lots of challenges and struggles, and I can only imagine what being a parent will be like again. I think about explaining to Stryder that he has a brother in heaven and is an IVF baby.