Some days we struggle more than others. Today is one of those days.

I’m exhausted. I’m weary. I’m struggling.

When will it be good news?! When will it be my turn?! Why couldn’t he have been healed?!

It’s hard to find the light in this darkness. I think everyone knows the Little Engine that Could, who consistently says, ” I think I can; I think I can.” Well, I know I can’t.

I can’t because things are not in my control. I can’t change or control anything that has or is happening. However, I can believe and tell myself, “It will happen. There was a reason. It’s okay to not be okay.”

Today I’m struggling. I didn’t want to show up to church. I was alone (Theo was on worship), so I called my mom, and she talked to me the whole way to church. I was late; I was crying.

Theo found me and held me, but not only that, I had so many friends who just hugged me and did not ask why I was so sad. They just told me they loved me and were there for me.

Grief is exhausting, and life circumstances piling on top of grief is a heavy weight. But when I get knocked down, I get up again… Because of those in my life who are encouraging and keeping me going.