For the first time in a few months, and maybe even since Archer passed, I look at pictures and smile. Of course, I still cry because it makes me miss him. The pictures of the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” remind me that Christmas with Archer truly was wonderful and magical.

When you have a child, Christmas gets to be a time to see their excitement with everything the holiday brings.

We got to take Archer to church and wave the candle, battery operated, during Silent Night. There were so many songs and lights, and he kicked with enjoyment the whole time. Archer loved church and everything it brought. He was never fussy when it came to enjoying service!

We went to my parent’s house, and Archer refused to sleep in his pack n’ play, so Nana offered to do a mini sleepover with him. She took Archer into her room and watched over him all night so we could get some sleep.

We opened gifts, wore Christmas outfits, and saw more family. Archer laid under the tree, looking at the lights. He crawled to find all the gifts because he wanted more wrapping paper. Archer would completely light up listening to Christmas music and getting extra snuggles from all his grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

We smiled so much seeing Archer experience Christmas for the first, and what would be the only time.

This week, as I was looking at our Christmas photos from last year, I told Theo, “I feel like I’m not as sad when I see these pictures. I feel the happiness and awe he saw in life.” When I look back at pictures, I see and feel this in my bones.

I know I miss him on earth, but what more could a parent want than to have their little one experience a heavenly Christmas? After all, I believe Jesus came as a baby on Christmas, so my baby can be in heaven today.