Theo and I attend a child loss support group two times every month. This group has allowed us to meet people who understand what we are going through, talk through our challenges, share our stories, do activities, and have resources to help us continue our grief journey. 

(Shameless plug: If you or someone you know has lost a child and you’re located in WI, I highly recommend Bo’s Heavenly Clubhouse – a fantastic organization run by people who have been in our or similar shoes. https://www.bosheavenlyclubhouse.org/)

At our last group meeting, we did something called “Blackout Poetry,” where you get an old book and redact pieces of the page that don’t fit the story you are creating. 

There are many benefits to this type of poetry:

• Allows you to be creative, as you can find patterns and interconnect words into new meanings
• Provides stress relief by focusing on a page of text and carefully coloring/redacting the pages.
  • Research shows that doing 45 minutes of blackout Poetry can reduce the hormone – cortisol – which is produced when stressed.
• Allows for self-expression while not generating your own words, which allows for some to communicate better.
• Allows for you to engage in social commentary by being able to share thoughts and feelings about their world. 
• Stimulates your mind, which is beneficial to your brain as you age.

(Thank you, again, to Bo’s Heavenly Clubhouse for this information).

We got to the point of passing out books, and we were asked if we had a book preference. I immediately said that I would like a book that is any shade of green, as this is one of the things that remind me of Archer. 

Then I opened the book and began reading the page to decide what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to redact. 

“Archer” came across the words on my page. My heart jumped, and I knew that this book was meant for me. The story I was creating felt personal and sorrowful yet so healing. 

My first few pages read:

“It turned out I was the lucky one. Couldn’t be smarter, funnier, kinder, or more enthusiastic. A huge thanks to Archer for believing in me and what I can do. I’m extraordinarily grateful.”

“Permanent Fatal. We’d had to keep things down. Stopped acting like nothing was going on. He was handsome.”

“Figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Grief. I raised an eyebrow. He raised his eyebrow to match mine. I leave you. I’ll probably be right behind you. I’m just waiting.”

I can sit and dissect these first three pages one-by-one and create a whole blog from what I was thinking, how I feel about them, and the background to the story I am writing. However, I will leave this where it is for now.

I plan to continue to use my “Blackout Poetry” book when I feel sad, stressed, or overwhelmed. It will be a time to escape and create a story of my grief journey. I would 100% recommend this, especially if you are looking to escape or reap any of the benefits this type of poetry offers. 

Let me know if anyone would like me to continue to post more of my “blackout poetry” as it gets completed or if you want me to explain my thoughts on the pages! I can create a blog page with all the book pages completed, and you can read my new story.