Theo Answers Questions

Question: First thing that comes to mind when you think “Archer.”

Theo: He hated art class.

Question: What would you say was Archer’s quirkiest or most unique behavior?

Theo: He always, for some reason, had his tongue sticking out. I have never seen another baby with their tongue sticking out quite as much as he did. 

Question: What is the most significant change you have experienced since Archer passed away?

Theo: Life…. I used to get him up, get him dressed and fed, and then drive him to daycare. After work, I would pick him up from school, so he was home when Brittney was off. Now, I am back to walking to work every day. We would lie together on the couch every night until we both fell asleep.

Brittney: Trust me, they would snore in sync; it was the cutest thing ever, and I miss it daily. 

Question: What was the hardest thing during Archer’s medical journey?

Theo: The unknown. When we first went to the hospital, he had rhinovirus, and his liver numbers were elevated. The doctors couldn’t tell us why those numbers were off. No test, test results, medicine, or other treatment seemed to be working to lower his numbers into the “normal” range. 

Brittney: Children’s Hospital is a teaching hospital, which means that residents were the primary doctors you saw during the day, but the attendings would come around and see Archer and monitor his labs and health. Every morning there were rounds where all the attendings, residents, and fellows would get together to talk about his current health situation and the day’s goals. Theo never missed a rounds meeting. He would do everything possible to attend to ensure he knew what was going on with Archer’s health. He even handled almost all the hard conversations and watched some of the more difficult things (like getting poked multiple times for an IV). Theo was strong through it all. 

Question: What was one of your favorite memories of Archer?

Theo: When we went to the mall, Brittney was getting her eyes checked for new glasses. Archer and I strolled the mall and went down to Panera for dinner. We had a little father-son date night together. 

Theo: Another favorite memory with Archer was when we went mini-golfing with the young adult group from church. I had Archer strapped to me in the baby carrier, and I still won mini-golf. He just slept right through almost the entire night out. Afterward, we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings with everyone, but we didn’t have a formula for him. We had to run to Target, get formula and bottles, and ask the Buffalo Wild Wings server for a warm cup of water.  

Question: What do you miss most about him?

Theo: Everything…

Question: Do you still feel like a dad?

Theo: No

Question: Why?

Theo: I feel like everything I was doing that made me a dad; I am no longer able to do any of that. 

Question: Do you want more kids?

Theo: Yes, for sure. 

Question: What is one thing you learned from Archer that you hope to bring into fatherhood again?

Theo: Patience; I feel like Archer taught me to truly be patient. Even when it was tough, I knew that I needed to be patient with him. I want to keep that same patience with our future kids.  

Brittney: One thing I think Theo will bring into his future children’s lives is patience. There were nights that he would spend hours with Archer trying to get him to sleep. Even when he was tired, he never lost his patience with Archer or me. (I know sometimes I am not the easiest to be patient with…)

Question: What is one thing you learned from Archer’s life?

Theo: True joy. Through everything with Archer, the good and the bad, there was always a joy in caring for him. 

Question: Would you rather people ask you about Archer, bring up memories of him, and ask how you are doing or avoid the topic?

Theo: I would rather people bring up Archer and talk about him. When people bring him up, it reminds me that people loved him and that he had an impact. 

Question: What do you think the hardest part of Father’s day will be?

Theo: Just knowing this would have been my first Father’s day as a dad is hard.