October is Child Loss Awareness Month; each day I want to post a small thought, memory, or picture in honor of Archer Floyd.
October 1st
Social Media is filled with reminders of Child Loss Awareness month; knowing you aren’t alone in this journey is both painful and relieving.
October 2nd
Played on worship team this morning and I look out in the audience and remember my child is not in his Nana’s arms listening to the music. Playing is sometimes very bittersweet.
October 3rd
Theo & I went to a Blackhawks V. Wild hockey game yesterday. We were supposed to go to a Wild V. Predators game a week on March 14th, which we quickly cancelled after Archer was admitted to the hospital. Something so small can be so emotional…
October 4th
October 5th
Archer loved to stick his tongue out. He, also, loved to raise his eyebrows. Lots of our pictures consist of one or both of these things. It makes me smile because it was just fitting for him!
October 6th
Archer loved what I call “Dance with Mama”. I would just sing that line over and over while he would lay on the ground. He would kick his legs and I would help him bicycle and dance the whole time we sang.
October 7th
Archer loved mama’s beat boxing. Anytime that I would try to beat box, I would tap/touch his cheeks and nose to the beat. He would look at me then smile so big and bright.
October 8th
Today, we celebrated my nephew’s birthday. I have been sad over the last week, not because my nephew turned two but because Archer wasn’t there to celebrate.
Last year, Archer got a little pale with his name on it as a goody bag. It sits in our pantry with some treats.
It was hard to imagine Archer not being there this year to celebrate his cousin.
My brother and sister-in-law were so sweet to remember Archer. Attached to the lightbulb vase from his Celebration of Life, was a dino balloon in remembrance of Archer.
When they told me this, I sobbed. Being reminded of their love for my little boy is overwhelming. Thank you to my siblings for this sweet gesture at their son’s birthday party!
October 9th
October 10th
Archer was a ‘wild’ sleeper. We would lay him down so nicely in his bassinet. When we would wake up, he would be sideways, a leg or arm would be leaning against the wall of his bassinet, or he would be in just an awkward position. He loved to sleep and was a mover in bed, just like his daddy.
October 11th
Before bed, Theo or I would read Archer stories. We were big on getting him books. The first book we ever bought him was called But First, We Nap. It was a fitting book because Archer loved to nap, especially if it was while laying on daddy. They would both fall asleep (safely) and snore in sync. I miss the nightly noise of both of my boys snoring away.
October 12th
Archer loved lights. Anything that lit up would immediately catch his attention.
When we would have family dinner, he would stare at the chandelier above the table. Toys that would lite up were some of his favorite.
We had little light bulb vases at his Celebration of Life to always remember this about him.
October 13th
Hi – I miss your chunky thighs.
Obviously, I miss so much more than that, but that is what this photo makes me think of today.
October 14th – 6 months
Wow, six months have gone by without you. It feels like a milestone that nobody should ever have to hit. Please check out by blog SIX to read more about the feels of today.
October 15th
Wave of Light
October 15th is the day set aside in October to “reflect on our loss, yet embrace the love”. Whether you have lost a child or are willing to remember Archer with us, please light a candle form 7pm – 8pm CST.
We’d love for you to share a picture, so I can post them all on the blog. You are welcome to send them to any of my social media platforms or email afterarcher414@gmail.com.
October 16th
A year ago today, we attended a “Mommy and Me” brunch with some ladies at church. I immediately knew I had to take the opportunity to match my little guy. I knew he wouldn’t let his Mama match him forever. This is one of my favorite photos of us together.
October 17th
Saying “I miss Archer” is so easy, but living with missing him is so hard.
Theo and I watched a few videos of him from this month, and I cannot wait to share them when it is “1 year” since capturing them.
The videos make us smile, but also hold a very strong weight of loneliness.
October 18th
Last week, for the first time, I read through the sweet photo book Archer’s daycare gave us, after he passed. One theme I saw/read was that they all looked forward to stopping in or hanging out with him. He was a joy, smiled a lot, and made an impression on them. Obviously, I cried when I read this knowing how much he was loved.
October 19th
Bath time was one of your favorites. But your favorite was when daddy would put you in his arms and hold you in the tub, almost as if you were floating on your back.
You’re smile and eyes would get so big, then you would kick your feet and splash around. I know daddy loved and misses those moments with you.
October 20th
October 20, 2021 – We got one of the sweetest videos of Archer. He giggled.
Archer was full of life, joy, and always had a good attitude about everything (except for a wet diaper) haha. You can see in this photo of him smiling.
The video here brings me so much joy, reminds me of everything my little guy was.
I hope you take 15 seconds to hear him giggle and smile today.
October 21st
Theo and I went to a memorial for Archer this week. It was just a small little ceremony for all who lost a loved one while they were in hospice. On the mantel, we all brought pictures. It’s hard to look and see your baby’s photo up there with pictures of others loved ones who were all “old”, in comparison.
October 22nd
Two years ago today, Theo and I found out we were pregnant with Archer.
We were so excited to think that we were going to be parents to a little baby. Our world changed for the better, and so did we.
October 23rd
Last year, we went to our first and only Halloween costume party. We dressed up as the Packers and a little football.
We loved being able to dress up as a family; I would even say that we were the cutest football team out there.
Love and miss you, buddy.
October 24th
October 25th
October 26th
Archer would have been 16 months today.
October 27th
When I got home from work, I hugged Theo and I saw all of the pictures and picture magnets of Archer on the fridge.
A memory sparked, that I hadn’t thought about since Archer was earthbound. As many know, his nickname was ‘Squish’ or ‘Squishy’. But when I was talking to Archer, I used to call him “Sir Squish”.
I believe he LOVED his nickname, especially when being fancy Sir Squish because his smile would get so big!
October 28th
Archer did not like to wear his socks. It was always funny to see him start with socks and slowly kick or roll until his socks came off.
I’m not sure if he didn’t like things on his feet or if he was always warm like his daddy, but we would find a sockless-Archer often. Whether in his stander, pictures from school, playing on the ground, or in his car seat – naked feet!
I miss those little naked feet, those tiny toes, and finding socks in random places.
October 29th
Archer did not like art class. We would get pictures frequently of Archer crying during class. We think it was because he didn’t like to get his hands dirty, similar to his mama.
In October, he made a clay pumpkin ornament, a pumpkin painting, and rolled a corn cob with paint on it onto paper.
We cherish his art and even displayed it at his Celebration of Life. The photos make us laugh so hard. Theo and I picture him doing art in heaven often.
October 30th
Each night, we would read to Archer. He loved his story time and seeing all of the pictures in the books. He especially loved his Porcupine touch and feel book!
October 31st
It is the end of October and the end of Child and Infant Loss Awareness month. However, I will not forget Archer and stop posting about him. He deserves to have his name said, memories shared, and stories told about him, all throughout the year.
Please don’t hesitate to ever talk about Archer. We love and appreciate it so much! Thank you for following along for the month of October!
My promise to you, sweet baby:
– UNKNOWN
I will learn to live in the sunshine of your life instead of the dark shadow of your death.
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