Theo and I both wrote memorials for Archer’s Celebration of Life ceremony. We both have different but similar takes on who Archer is and what it was like to be his parent.

Enjoy getting further insight into the life of being Archer’s parents and the blessing he was and is to us.

Mom’s Memorial

Archer loved his music; one song I would sing to him at bedtime was a song about the Fruit of the Spirit. The song is based off of Galatians 5:22-23.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control…”

All this time, I had through I was teaching Archer the Fruit of the Spirit, but in reality he was teaching them to me.

LOVE: It is safe to say that I loved you ever since the day I found out I was pregnant. Every parent says they would do anything for their child, but I didn’t fully realize what unconditional love was until we first found out you were sick in the hospital. We were sitting on your play mat, when I told you would do or give anything just for you to be okay. You just looked at me and smiled. It was in that moment that it hit me. Jesus loves you more than I love you; Jesus did do and give everything for us to be able to have eternal life in Him.

JOY: While art class never brought you joy, you brought joy to all those that met you. Your smile would light up any room, and you were never afraid to show it to anyone. You found joy in all of the small moments, like when we would play peak-a-boo or put your watermelon toy on your head and pretend it was a hat. You taught me to find joy in the little things in life.

PEACE: Cuddling with you was so peaceful; it just felt like Theo and I were your safe place. And honestly, you were mine. Until the end, you taught me about a peace that I don’t even fully understand.

PATIENCE: I have never found patience to be my strong suit, and I think you knew it. I like to think that you always told me what you wanted, especially when you weren’t happy. It was very tough for me to have patience and work to figure out what you needed. Today, I would say that my patience has grown.

KINDNESS: You were happy no matter where you were, who you were with, or during anytime of day. You smiled through everything. The nurses and doctors in the hospital found you to be so pleasant, and I believe that was because you had such a kind spirit that liked to smile and warm up a room.

GOODNESS: Through your life you taught me God’s goodness, as I was blessed to just be your mama. I also saw God’s goodness through your medical journey. God spared you from so many pains and issues, and I believe that was a miracle from God. While I may not share your full journey anytime soon, I plan to share your story with the world to show them how good God is.

FAITHFULNESS: You were always faithful and determined to not wear your socks. You hated anything that was put on your feet. And maybe that is because you liked when I pretended your foot was a phone, fake ate your foot, or made them dance with mama.

SELF-CONTROL:When you got excited about anything, you had little self-control. You would show your excitement through your babble, expressive eyebrows, or by throwing or banging your toys. This taught me to not be afraid to show how I am feeling, have control over the negative scary thoughts, and to have grace on myself.

Archer – I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you and all that you have taught me. You were the biggest blessing in my life and the best son I could have asked for. You left an imprint on my life, that cannot be replaced, and I know you left an imprint on everyone you met. You will never be forgotten. This isn’t goodbye, but a see you later. I love you Squish!

Dad’s Memorial

No can prepare you to become a parent, you have the baby and they basically tell you “Good Luck”. But anyone that knew Archer knew he was about as easy going as a baby could be. Archer made being a parent easy and the most fulfilling experience I could have asked for. Nothing compares to the smile of your baby when you’re feeling down. Archer always had a smile on his face, whether he was playing with his cups or playing in his stander, he was the happiest baby ever. And if he was ever in a bad mood, we all knew to put on Baby Shark and he would get completely mesmerized by it. Archer absolutely loved his music and was planning on following in his parents footsteps on the worship team someday. He was already joining us for worship practices and early morning rehearsal on Sundays, he was basically an honorary member already.

When we had Archer, we didn’t let that intrude on our lives, we kept going on with life like it was normal. We brought him to church events, to the mall, out to restaurants, and to the Zoo, and boy did he love the Zoo! Archer loved to look at the different animals and the winter lights show. While we were in the hospital, we kept on praying that we would get to take Archer to the Zoo one last time and our prayers were fulfilled and we took Archer to the Zoo two more times before he passed.

Archer loved all of his grandparents so much. Archer loved when Papa would sing the Animal Fair song to him; it always put a smile on his face. He loved watching Deal or No Deal with Grandpa, and he of course always said “No Deal, Howie!”. He absolutely loved to get cuddles from his Grandma. And he was a sucker when it came to feeding time with Nana, he loved his bananas and squash. He had so many people that loved him and we are thankful for everyone in his life.

As amazing as Archer was, he had his faults too. Archer absolutely hated to be laid down in his crib. I didn’t mind it because this just meant most nights started with Archer and Dad sleeping together on the couch, with mom supervision of course. And I don’t think the grandparents minded this either, it just meant more cuddle time for them during Archer’s nap time. Archer also hated doing his arts and crafts. Every week we would get a new picture of Archer crying while doing his arts and crafts at Day Care. Even though he seemed to hate it, and I’m sure Day Care can attest to this, he was a pretty amazing artist!

Archer may not have liked those things very much but he had a love for many other things. Archer took after his dad and he loved his lights. Church gave out fake candles to everyone for the candle lit Christmas Eve service, and there Archer was staring intently into the light… followed quickly by him trying to eat the light. Before our wedding, Pastor Brian asked both of us separately one thing we enjoyed doing the most with each other, and both of us had the same response of going for walks together. Archer was the perfect fit into our family, he loved going for walks in his stroller around the neighborhood. It was clearly a very relaxing time for him because he usually fell asleep halfway through the walks. But I think the one thing Archer loved above everything else was his Bath Time. He loved splashing his feet around in the water and playing with his rubber fish toys. This was a foolproof way to help Archer settle down.

I cherished every moment I got to spend with you, the good and the bad, and would never trade a single moment I had with him. Although our time with you was short, you made the biggest impact in our lives and on our hearts. You are walking with Jesus now, this isn’t a “Goodbye”, this is a “See you later”. We will never forget you and will always love you, Squish.