You may or may not have noticed, but I didn’t post my monthly blog in January. Let me catch you up on life.
I got very sick in early January (strep, of all things). This was actually so hard for me, not even fully because I was sick, but because it happened over Stryder’s 293 days of life.
If you don’t know, Archer only lived 292 days. Getting to day 293 with Stryder was supposed to be a celebration. We had plans to celebrate with some friends and get a cake. However, my sickness just let it be another day, which may be okay.
The next week, we actually then went on a cruise. We planned this cruise months ago, and one BIG reason was that Theo and I wanted to get away and celebrate the family that we are. Stryder hit a milestone that was worth celebrating. (The cruise was over my typical blog post day, and I didn’t have access to the internet, so I didn’t write.)
We had such a fantastic time! Stryder loved cruising. He went in lots of splash pads, ate so much ice cream, and really enjoyed watching the two figure skating shows. Theo and I enjoyed a few shows while Stryder hung out in the daycare. Vacation felt like something we really needed as a family.
After coming home from the cruise, we had scheduled Stryder’s first haircut. This was the most grief I have felt in a long time. (Trust me, I feel my grief often, but boy, did I cry over this). It was hard for me to accept that something so simple as going for a haircut was never done with my first baby. These feelings led to thinking about all the other little and big moments we will never get with Archer.
When it was finally the haircut day, I felt more peace. We walked into the shop and went to the playroom. Once they were ready for us, we got to pick out his chair for the cut. He picked an airplane. It was so fun to take pictures of him and watch him experience something new. Also, he looked SO handsome when he was done.
I know this isn’t any big news about our life, but I wanted to catch up on where I have been, what I have been going through, and why I didn’t write.
Archer (aka. Squishy) –
I miss you so much. These last few months have been so hard not having you around. Christmases don’t get easier. Not having you around on my birthday is so hard, and mostly, missing all the little moments with you makes me sad.
Daddy and I talk about how you would be just a year out from school, how you would have looked with a haircut, and how hard you would have loved your brother. I think you two would have been so mischievous and would be keeping us on our toes, but you would be best friends.
Saying I love and miss you doesn’t feel like justice for how much I really do love and miss you. Happy Valentine’s day to my Squishy!
Love,
Mama
